• Round 2: Celtic Pride (1) v. Summer Catch (3)


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    Gene Lavanchy's claim that Celtic Pride is the worst movie ever made is one round closer to being the truth. Now Damon Wayans inability to play basketball goes up against Freddie Prinze Jr.'s inability to do what every American child has been able to do since baseball was invented -- throwing the ball and not looking like a dope, that is. Speaking of baseball, we're pretty shocked that Fever Pitch is out of the tournament already, considering it ruined the 2004 World Series for just about everyone, ever.

    1. Celtic Pride: Did anyone even think to ask Damon Wayans if he'd ever played basketball before casting him in this movie? Then again, if his jumper were as smooth as Larry Bird's, would it have made this movie suck any less? Really - Dan Akroyd and Daniel Stern kidnap the Utah Jazz' best player so the Celtics can win a championship, but then end up having to root for the Jazz in Game 7 so that Wayans doesn't call the cops on them - yeesh. No wonder why the Celtics didn't win a championship for ten years after this dog was made. Speaking of dogs, this made me wish I'd watched Air Bud instead.

    3. Summer Catch: OK, so did you read what I said about Damon Wayans and basketball? That goes double for Freddie Prinze Jr. and baseball. My God, is it that hard to throw a baseball mildly convincingly? When I first heard they were making a Cape Cod baseball league movie I thought -'bout time. When it ended and they rolled the credits I thought - 'bout time. Even Jessica Biel couldn't help this thing pass the time. Just awful. In the movie he plays for the Chatham A's - I give this movie a Chatham F.

    Next up: Stealing Harvard v. Stuck On You

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