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Polito's Take: A Nightmare on Beacon Street

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to bid farewell to over 50 million of your tax dollars. They were cut down in the prime of life by welfare cheats who have no qualms about profiting off the dead.

"I see EBT cards."

I'm now waiting for Gov. Deval Patrick's response to this latest proof that our welfare system is rife with fraud and mismanagement. A state audit discovered that Massachusetts has handed out $18 million in "questionable public assistance benefits" over the past two years. Welfare cash was given to over 1,000 people who were either dead or using the Social Security number of someone who is dead. This comes after we learned that tens of millions in welfare and food stamps are unaccounted for. I'm not optimistic and I'm not predicting the Governor's approach will be to order an overhaul of the state's welfare system.

"Who you gonna' call Governor?"

Don't be surprised if he calls Ghost Busters. I can hear him now, "We need to find these poltergeists and strip them of their EBT cards."

"They're here!"

Governor, will that include vampires? They are the living dead. Actually, the welfare cheats are sucking us dry, they're just biting us in the wallet, not the neck. I've got an idea, let's go into the parlor, turn off the lights and hold hands. It will be a séance to get an exact count of all the dead people being exploited. Maybe we should install Quija boards at welfare offices to determine eligibility.

All kidding aside, this state needs an exorcism. It's possessed by people who don't deserve welfare and a bunch of hacks intent on standing in the way of any real reform. I'm not talking about the poor souls who need a hand up. I'm talking about the people who are physically and mentally able to work and choose not to. Instead, they latch on to the state and suck the life force out of hard working people, turning us into the living dead. Then there are the Doctor Frankensteins on Beacon Hill, in academia, and among the community organizers. They created this monster and they allow it to trample through our villages. They do nothing to stop the destruction.

Well folks, it's time to get the pitchforks and torches out and send this unholy monster to its grave. Unfortunately, a welfare grave robber will probably steal Frankenstein's Social Security number and get an EBT card. Right now, Beacon Hill law makers are behind closed doors working out the details of a tax increase, it could be around 800 million dollars. These mad scientists have spent enough time in the lab, time to kick them out.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, EBT reform is now a must.